So I feel like the Lord FILLS me even when I don't FEEL it. He does reward faithfulness though. I have been consistently spending a good chunk of time worshipping/seeking him/reading the bible each morning, and he has given me the grace to get up and do it even though it's hard.
Today when I was driving to work, I just prayed that it wouldn't be another mundane day at the VA where I don't share what God's doing and who he is. So I prayed in boldness that the Lord would give me an opportunity.
And he did! Almost right away! When I logged in my computer, one of my trainees came over to ask me a question and he said I looked tired. I said yeah I really am. Then I went into why...(waking up early to pray) and just stated that although it's a sacrifice of my time, it's completely worth it. He, (Willy), seemed receptive so I kept going and told him about Elevate and before long he was telling me about his church (that he drives an hour to!) and his pastor and how he was fasting today b/c his pastor challenged him to. So wow, that was cool!!
So I was assuming he was a Christian at this point. I mean who fasts just for kicks? I asked him how long he had known the Lord and he said well I am not actually a Christian (and I believe he used the word YET...but I might've implied that ;)
I was shocked! Ok Lord, well here's my completely open door, I thought. And he was really attentive as I shared about my spiritual journey and how I've found he's the only thing that satisfies and brings hope both now and for the future. I shared with him how I grew up in the Lord in college, but still wasn't totally sold until I started going to Antioch and began to have people in my path who challenged me and edified me and just loved me really well. Shared with him a little about my call into Elevate and how I really was fighting the Lord about it until I just decided that I wanted him so desperately and I knew I'd grow so much if I would just devote my time and energy to training and discipline. He wants to have a divine encounter with me. There's a reason I met Anna, who introduced me to my now roommates, Anne and Liz (who moved here to do Elevate). He had paved the way so clearly that I ran out of excuses to not say yes to Elevate.
Willie says he struggles with having fear and doubts about giving in and becoming a different person or becoming a pushover. He said he wrestles with God about going all in. He has been going to that church for 2 years now and still has not accepted the Lord as his Savior! Jesus come pursue him!!!
I told him there is no fear in the Lord, but that HIS spirit brings FREEDOM. I have found to be soooo true in my life. He has filled my life with a gladness and meaning that is completely new for me as of late. I also told him, Willy, the Lord is after you! He wants your whole heart, just as you are, and he loves you, just as you are.
A tear started to form in my eye as he walked away. I really sense that the Lord is knocking hard and wants to invite Willy into the kingdom. He's got the door cracked and that's a start. I am so glad I spent time getting with God this morning and am definitely encouraged that the Lord would want to use as a vessel in his pursuit of Willy. Lord I pray he has visions and dreams of you tonight, God. I pray that you spoke to him as he fasted and even in the morning tomorrow that you will reveal yourself to him so clearly that he will confess with his mouth that JESUS IS LORD and believe in his heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, and he will be saved!!