Day one:
So about that question, "What am I being called to do as a response to the Poverty Simulation?" and I had resolved that I would make more efforts to interact with the homeless.
Yesterday, during my lunch, I did just that. I wasn't able to eat, but I wanted to take a break/get out of the office building and do something. I thought about reading my book for Elevate in my car, but quickly heard the voice of God saying, "Go where you learned about being homeless, and practice what you learned."
I drove around the restaurants by work looking for a homeless person. Found my guy at Whataburger sitting under the awning. I found out his name was Yan, and he sounded educated in speech. I gave him a water bottle I had on hand, then asked if I could buy him lunch.
Yan's story quickly began to unfold. His family is from France and he moved here at 3 years old to Sugarland. He went to Texas A&M and got a degree in civil engineering, started working nearby and got married. Had a daughter (Alexandra Marie Kogevnikoff), which I thought was very pretty and French).
"I don't really know why I am on the streets. I guess it's my own fault because I was a wimp and didn't fight for my marriage," he said ruefully. He said he went through a bad divorce and then spiraled into a deep depression.
I asked how he dealt with the depression, and he said he would go to a pastor for prayer when he felt really depressed. Yan said he knows Jesus personally (and now goes to Church Under the Bridge). He said that he never got into drugs because he had seen too many friends get "messed up" and ruin their entire lives.
While we were in line, he said he was planning on asking the employees at Whataburger if he could clean their dumpster for food. He said it was a mess.
He ordered his burger with "Ranch style dressing." He kept stating it that way as he went on about how much he loved "Ranch style dressing" and how it goes with everything. He never would just say "Ranch" or "Ranch dressing," which I found amusing.
Then Yan and I sat down waiting for his food and just had a normal conversation. (I did see a coworker give me a funny look, which is understandable.) Yan told me that the reason he doesn't have a job is that his ankle is hurt badly. He rolled up his pant leg and sure enough, it was really swollen. Also, he has pretty bad seizures. He said when he "starves himself" that his seizures get worse. He was very thankful that I bought him lunch. He said if everyone was as nice as me, the world would be a better place.
We then talked about his daughter and I asked if he ever gets to talk to her. He said not often. The mother has full custody of course. Alexandra is a sophomore at A&M and is studying to be a vet, so I talked about my youngest sister who just started going to school there. I felt prompted to ask him if he wanted my sister to pass a message along to his daughter from him...that is if my sister or myself could find her on Facebook or through e-mail. He said yes and his eyes lit up a bit. He wrote, very slowly and deliberately, her name on the back of my receipt and gave it back to me. I asked what he'd like to tell her. His message was this:
I love you. I'll try to get ahold of you somehow. Have a good semester in school.
At this point, I believe I saw a tear well up and a drip from his nose onto the table. It was a very tender moment and I realized that, again, you never know what one's story is until you take the time to ask. I had to get back to work, so I said goodbye and I was glad to have met him. He looked up toward the ceiling and said "Thanks God!"
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Poverty Simulation
So this weekend, my Elevate PM class and a few other groups did a Poverty Simulation provided by Mission Waco. The point of the weekend is to get into the shoes of the impoverished. Literally...the shoes.The clothes. Into the reality of not knowing where the next meal was, sleeping outside, drinking from water hoses, relying on the generosity of others, walking everywhere, etc.
Well I started to write out all the interesting details of what happened this weekend, but I realized that to tell it all would take something away from it. The experience can't be summed up that way. It was more than just a series of happenings. There are deep things that I am going to be stewing on for a while...
Our class was encouraged to ask 2 questions:
1) After this experience, what is God wanting ME to do?
2) And what does he want US to do as a class as a response?
If I am to understand God's heart for the poor, then I need to know what His Word says about the poor. I have read so many scriptures about money and the lack of it, but I really need to read them in a new light after this weekend. So here's the first one I found:
"He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God." (Proverbs 14:34).
When we speak badly of the poor and treat them wrongly, not only are we dishonoring God, but we are saying that what He created is not good and is not valuable. We are placing ourselves high and the poor low.
I'll share a cool story from the Poverty Sim:
On Saturday morning, we were put into groups of 5 or 6 and given a Scavenger Hunt list and a time limit. Our first task was to "find lunch." At this point I was getting hungry b/c I didn't have much to eat the night before and no breakfast that morning. We were not anywhere near a fast food restaurant, but we thought we could get a free lunch at the Salvation Army, which is downtown. So we walked for what seemed like forever in the heat, and even started running b/c we weren't sure what time they closed. When we finally got there, a sign on the door let us know it was too late. We even went into the office and asked if there were any meals left over, or if the person behind the desk knew of another place we could get a free lunch. He said no, but that we could come back for dinner at 5:30.
So we had to come up with another plan. As a group, we felt like we should go to the Fast Food Junction (not really the name...but some fast food around BU/I-35 area). We all split up and went in search of a handout. Liz and I asked at Sonic if they had any leftover food they were going to throw away. The lady said, "Oh, is it for the homeless?" We said yes. B/c we were! I think she thought we were going to take it to the homeless, b/c at that point we weren't that smelly or gross looking. Anyway she said it would all be in the dumpster. Liz had already jumped in the dumpster and hadn't found anything except a few coke cans (which we had to collect 100 of).
Then Anna went into Fazolis and Davin and I stopped to talk to a homeless guy pushing a cart of stuff. One of our check-offs was to talk to a homeless person. So we introduced ourselves and asked J.D. about his story. He tried to ask us for money, but we said we were looking for money and/or lunch as well...and that if we found lunch, we would definitely share with him. So he told us how at age 18, he got in a really bad accident and had head trauma and injured his leg. He was in a coma for 9 months and didn't think he was going to live. He said he can't read or write now because of the brain damage. He hitchhiked here from Mineral Wells, TX in search of his dad, who supposedly lives in Waco. Said he's been here 12 years and hasn't found him. We asked if we could pray for him that he'd find is dad and he let us. I felt like I was supposed to lay my hand on him as we prayed b/c I felt like God was saying this is my child and you are not above touching him. He was a gaunt little man. About that time his friend came up with his shopping cart and applauded us for praying for J.D. He said that he was a hurricane Katrina victim and lost several relatives b/c of it and was subsequently brought to Waco. They both said they knew the Lord and would be at Church Under the Bridge on Sunday. We said bye to them and that we would see them the next day at church.
So then Anna comes out with 2 pieces of pizza and 6 bread sticks that the manager gave her. We were so excited! But it still wasn't enough for a lunch for all of us. Liz came over and had obtained 2 dollars from a lady in line for the bus. Go Liz! Ashley and I got turned down for food in Taco Cabana. We were all in survival mode, being bold and really going for it. Then we decided we needed at least one or two more dollars so that we could all have a meal and the plan was to get something off the Wendy's dollar menu. So Liz and I went to the Valero and asked an older guy, (who had just done a bike race in Waco), if he had a dollar he could spare because we didn't have money for lunch. He hesitantly said yes...but this was after he looked us up and down. We had all been in a few dumpsters collecting cans so we all felt slimy and gross. Dumpster juice on our clothes...yuck. Then he went to his car and only had a 5. Before he handed it to us, he said I don't have a dollar, but I have a 5...but first I wanna know...are you being honest with me?
Talk about humbling. It was hard enough to ask for money, especially since we didn't look legitimately starving or anything. Then we got the stare down, then the call for honesty. We said yes, we are, and thanked him generously, to which he didn't really reply you're welcome. I wondered if he was a Christian. Liz and I felt convicted for all the times we have judged the homeless or given them a dollar when we had more we could've given. Nonetheless, we were so grateful that even in his skepticism, he gave! Lord, bless that man!!
What's cool is that while Ash and them were waiting on us at Wendy's, she had prayed that God would give us $5!!
So at that point, we had gotten 7 bucks. We gave the pizza away to 2 girls that were doing poverty sim in another group because they hadn't had any luck and looked pretty worried. Then we each got a double stack cheeseburger from Wendy's!
We had a little money left, but not enough for dessert, and somebody mentioned Subway cookies were 3 for a dollar. Liz then asked some young guys at Wendy's if they had any change and they gave like 2 or 3 dollars! But they did question her what it was for, etc. And I went up to a table of youth who were just talking but were done eating, and asked if they had anything left over that they didn't want. They gave me half a carton of fries, which meant we each got a few. Then as that group left, 2 girls came over to us and gave us the remainder of their fry! Also, Wendy's made an extra burger by accident, but gave it to us, and we were able to give that one away to J.D., who Davin and I had prayed with earlier! Cool! :)
We felt over-the-top blessed and taken care of...and by the time we all had eaten dessert, we were full! Then, to add to the blessing, while we were on Baylor's campus, digging through more dumpsters and recycling bins for cans -(we were out of the dumpster at this point) - and a guy walking from the cafeteria said, "Hey, I know it's really hot out here. Do you guys want some ice cream? Thank you for recycling! God bless you!!" and he gave us 2 Bluebell ice cream bars!
We were all just appalled at our good fortune. It could've gone the complete opposite way. We experienced God as provider in a new way that day. That was probably the most powerful experience for me of the weekend's events. I'm still reflecting about everything, and I'm sure you'll hear more about my thoughts on poverty in blogs to come as I begin to dialogue with the Lord and he re-orients my heart. I think it stirred up in a lot of our group members that we are just the same as the poor, but were given a different deck of cards to play with. Granted, bad v. good choices are a factor...but imagine growing up in a slum. You are pretty powerless and who knows if you'd rise above.
We watched a few videos that brought it into perspective even more. My whole life, I've been empowered and encouraged...by my family, church community, opportunity for education and career, etc. People were there to push me and inspire me to reach for my goals. I got to go to college and now have a good job to pay off those loans. But not everyone gets that blessing. The marginalized are not always to be faulted. And I am so quick to make that initial judgment without knowing anything about the person and what they've been through. It made me want to know more homeless people's stories. I want to start loving and understanding them. And how can I really understand them if I never interact with them and if all I see of the poor is that they are lazy and just take advantage of people. So far I think I've mustered up some pity on the poor...but not mercy. How would Jesus treat the poor? Would he yell in their face that it's their own fault? Would he see them as roadside trash? Or would he meet their needs and minister to them in their place of need?
Did Jesus join in and stone the woman caught in adultery in the Bible? No. He instead challenged that if any man amongst the crowd has not sinned, that he should cast the first stone. Romans 6:23 says we have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
What I love is that Mission Waco really empowers the poor. They haven't just preached Jesus at them, then left them in the streets to die. They have so many programs that can help people get on their feet if they want it. And sadly, not everyone wants to get on their feet. But God bless Mission Waco and their staff for humbling themselves to be in a place of availability for those in our community who do want help out of addiction, out of unemployment, out of a life of poverty and despair. I am so thankful that through the ministry of Jimmy and Janet Dorrell, mouths and souls alike are being fed. It makes me wish, after meeting them this weekend, that I would've taken the Poverty in Waco class that was offered at Baylor.
Well I started to write out all the interesting details of what happened this weekend, but I realized that to tell it all would take something away from it. The experience can't be summed up that way. It was more than just a series of happenings. There are deep things that I am going to be stewing on for a while...
Our class was encouraged to ask 2 questions:
1) After this experience, what is God wanting ME to do?
2) And what does he want US to do as a class as a response?
If I am to understand God's heart for the poor, then I need to know what His Word says about the poor. I have read so many scriptures about money and the lack of it, but I really need to read them in a new light after this weekend. So here's the first one I found:
"He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God." (Proverbs 14:34).
When we speak badly of the poor and treat them wrongly, not only are we dishonoring God, but we are saying that what He created is not good and is not valuable. We are placing ourselves high and the poor low.
I'll share a cool story from the Poverty Sim:
On Saturday morning, we were put into groups of 5 or 6 and given a Scavenger Hunt list and a time limit. Our first task was to "find lunch." At this point I was getting hungry b/c I didn't have much to eat the night before and no breakfast that morning. We were not anywhere near a fast food restaurant, but we thought we could get a free lunch at the Salvation Army, which is downtown. So we walked for what seemed like forever in the heat, and even started running b/c we weren't sure what time they closed. When we finally got there, a sign on the door let us know it was too late. We even went into the office and asked if there were any meals left over, or if the person behind the desk knew of another place we could get a free lunch. He said no, but that we could come back for dinner at 5:30.
So we had to come up with another plan. As a group, we felt like we should go to the Fast Food Junction (not really the name...but some fast food around BU/I-35 area). We all split up and went in search of a handout. Liz and I asked at Sonic if they had any leftover food they were going to throw away. The lady said, "Oh, is it for the homeless?" We said yes. B/c we were! I think she thought we were going to take it to the homeless, b/c at that point we weren't that smelly or gross looking. Anyway she said it would all be in the dumpster. Liz had already jumped in the dumpster and hadn't found anything except a few coke cans (which we had to collect 100 of).
Then Anna went into Fazolis and Davin and I stopped to talk to a homeless guy pushing a cart of stuff. One of our check-offs was to talk to a homeless person. So we introduced ourselves and asked J.D. about his story. He tried to ask us for money, but we said we were looking for money and/or lunch as well...and that if we found lunch, we would definitely share with him. So he told us how at age 18, he got in a really bad accident and had head trauma and injured his leg. He was in a coma for 9 months and didn't think he was going to live. He said he can't read or write now because of the brain damage. He hitchhiked here from Mineral Wells, TX in search of his dad, who supposedly lives in Waco. Said he's been here 12 years and hasn't found him. We asked if we could pray for him that he'd find is dad and he let us. I felt like I was supposed to lay my hand on him as we prayed b/c I felt like God was saying this is my child and you are not above touching him. He was a gaunt little man. About that time his friend came up with his shopping cart and applauded us for praying for J.D. He said that he was a hurricane Katrina victim and lost several relatives b/c of it and was subsequently brought to Waco. They both said they knew the Lord and would be at Church Under the Bridge on Sunday. We said bye to them and that we would see them the next day at church.
So then Anna comes out with 2 pieces of pizza and 6 bread sticks that the manager gave her. We were so excited! But it still wasn't enough for a lunch for all of us. Liz came over and had obtained 2 dollars from a lady in line for the bus. Go Liz! Ashley and I got turned down for food in Taco Cabana. We were all in survival mode, being bold and really going for it. Then we decided we needed at least one or two more dollars so that we could all have a meal and the plan was to get something off the Wendy's dollar menu. So Liz and I went to the Valero and asked an older guy, (who had just done a bike race in Waco), if he had a dollar he could spare because we didn't have money for lunch. He hesitantly said yes...but this was after he looked us up and down. We had all been in a few dumpsters collecting cans so we all felt slimy and gross. Dumpster juice on our clothes...yuck. Then he went to his car and only had a 5. Before he handed it to us, he said I don't have a dollar, but I have a 5...but first I wanna know...are you being honest with me?
Talk about humbling. It was hard enough to ask for money, especially since we didn't look legitimately starving or anything. Then we got the stare down, then the call for honesty. We said yes, we are, and thanked him generously, to which he didn't really reply you're welcome. I wondered if he was a Christian. Liz and I felt convicted for all the times we have judged the homeless or given them a dollar when we had more we could've given. Nonetheless, we were so grateful that even in his skepticism, he gave! Lord, bless that man!!
What's cool is that while Ash and them were waiting on us at Wendy's, she had prayed that God would give us $5!!
So at that point, we had gotten 7 bucks. We gave the pizza away to 2 girls that were doing poverty sim in another group because they hadn't had any luck and looked pretty worried. Then we each got a double stack cheeseburger from Wendy's!
We had a little money left, but not enough for dessert, and somebody mentioned Subway cookies were 3 for a dollar. Liz then asked some young guys at Wendy's if they had any change and they gave like 2 or 3 dollars! But they did question her what it was for, etc. And I went up to a table of youth who were just talking but were done eating, and asked if they had anything left over that they didn't want. They gave me half a carton of fries, which meant we each got a few. Then as that group left, 2 girls came over to us and gave us the remainder of their fry! Also, Wendy's made an extra burger by accident, but gave it to us, and we were able to give that one away to J.D., who Davin and I had prayed with earlier! Cool! :)
We felt over-the-top blessed and taken care of...and by the time we all had eaten dessert, we were full! Then, to add to the blessing, while we were on Baylor's campus, digging through more dumpsters and recycling bins for cans -(we were out of the dumpster at this point) - and a guy walking from the cafeteria said, "Hey, I know it's really hot out here. Do you guys want some ice cream? Thank you for recycling! God bless you!!" and he gave us 2 Bluebell ice cream bars!
We were all just appalled at our good fortune. It could've gone the complete opposite way. We experienced God as provider in a new way that day. That was probably the most powerful experience for me of the weekend's events. I'm still reflecting about everything, and I'm sure you'll hear more about my thoughts on poverty in blogs to come as I begin to dialogue with the Lord and he re-orients my heart. I think it stirred up in a lot of our group members that we are just the same as the poor, but were given a different deck of cards to play with. Granted, bad v. good choices are a factor...but imagine growing up in a slum. You are pretty powerless and who knows if you'd rise above.
We watched a few videos that brought it into perspective even more. My whole life, I've been empowered and encouraged...by my family, church community, opportunity for education and career, etc. People were there to push me and inspire me to reach for my goals. I got to go to college and now have a good job to pay off those loans. But not everyone gets that blessing. The marginalized are not always to be faulted. And I am so quick to make that initial judgment without knowing anything about the person and what they've been through. It made me want to know more homeless people's stories. I want to start loving and understanding them. And how can I really understand them if I never interact with them and if all I see of the poor is that they are lazy and just take advantage of people. So far I think I've mustered up some pity on the poor...but not mercy. How would Jesus treat the poor? Would he yell in their face that it's their own fault? Would he see them as roadside trash? Or would he meet their needs and minister to them in their place of need?
Did Jesus join in and stone the woman caught in adultery in the Bible? No. He instead challenged that if any man amongst the crowd has not sinned, that he should cast the first stone. Romans 6:23 says we have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
What I love is that Mission Waco really empowers the poor. They haven't just preached Jesus at them, then left them in the streets to die. They have so many programs that can help people get on their feet if they want it. And sadly, not everyone wants to get on their feet. But God bless Mission Waco and their staff for humbling themselves to be in a place of availability for those in our community who do want help out of addiction, out of unemployment, out of a life of poverty and despair. I am so thankful that through the ministry of Jimmy and Janet Dorrell, mouths and souls alike are being fed. It makes me wish, after meeting them this weekend, that I would've taken the Poverty in Waco class that was offered at Baylor.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
MESSES
"it's quite the mess you're in, but it's nothing Love can't fix..." (from "Trust" by Kristene Mueller)
I'm quite convinced that we are all a mess! Think of the person you idolize, whether an influential political leader, an intelligent man, a historical or social figure, a Sunday school teacher, pastor, relative, or even Superman.
Ya...that person is a mess too.
How do we deal when we feel like things are messy in our life? When we feel overcome by the crashing waves of confusion, when we look at the clutter in our life and wonder how in the world we got here and how in the heavens we can get out of it. When even the once easy relationships are hard, and all we can do is whine and ask "Why?" When we surprise ourselves by our own behavior. Doing what we don't want to do, and not doing the very things that we want to do.
Even Paul had this struggle! I'd say he's a bit of a hero in my eyes. In the New Testament he challenges the believers to break free from the sin they were once enslaved to and walk in the resurrection power of Christ. Yet time and time again they cried out against God and Moses, "Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Did you just bring us out here to let us die? We had it better there!" And Paul, a strong and devoted follower of Christ is confessing that even he doesn't have it down yet.
So how is it that we really grab freedom by the love handles? ;)
I mean...REALLY. We need to hold on to freedom like it's the desperation of life or death. Because if we don't, if we place little value on it, then we will revert to slavery and bondage again...our God will be our stomach and our idols will be of the old man: money, fame, success, works instead of faith, recognition, approval of others. What little spiritual effort we offer will be nothing more than mere religiosity. And we know from the Old Testament that God saw right through false sacrifices. He judges not actions, but heart motives. And he detests dishonest scales.
Oh Lord, how could I even begin to love you with Pharisaic love? Let it never be so!! You said yourself that if my faith does not surpass that of the Pharisees, I will not see the kingdom of heaven. How could I love you this way when your love towards me is a gut-wrenching love that actually cost something...the dearest and most precious thing to your heart?
The Lord reminded me the other day that loving him is easy and natural. Why? It's easy because he's already pursued me from day 1. And he's still doing it. It's natural because I was made for relationship with Him!! We love him because he first loved us.
Ya know that feeling when someone really loves you and they come out and say it? How you just light up and feel all warm inside? Sometimes you might even cry at the very expression of it! Even if someone says they like you and the feeling is not necessarily mutual, you are still as we say "flattered." And downplay it as we do with that word, deep down something in the way our heart was oriented towards that person changes in that moment. That person has taken their thought from a hidden love to an expressed love and we feel validated. We are moved by love!!
Can I just say that any human love PALES IN COMPARISON to the perfect love of Christ??
That is all. Happy reflecting and sweet dreams.
I'm quite convinced that we are all a mess! Think of the person you idolize, whether an influential political leader, an intelligent man, a historical or social figure, a Sunday school teacher, pastor, relative, or even Superman.
Ya...that person is a mess too.
How do we deal when we feel like things are messy in our life? When we feel overcome by the crashing waves of confusion, when we look at the clutter in our life and wonder how in the world we got here and how in the heavens we can get out of it. When even the once easy relationships are hard, and all we can do is whine and ask "Why?" When we surprise ourselves by our own behavior. Doing what we don't want to do, and not doing the very things that we want to do.
Even Paul had this struggle! I'd say he's a bit of a hero in my eyes. In the New Testament he challenges the believers to break free from the sin they were once enslaved to and walk in the resurrection power of Christ. Yet time and time again they cried out against God and Moses, "Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Did you just bring us out here to let us die? We had it better there!" And Paul, a strong and devoted follower of Christ is confessing that even he doesn't have it down yet.
So how is it that we really grab freedom by the love handles? ;)
I mean...REALLY. We need to hold on to freedom like it's the desperation of life or death. Because if we don't, if we place little value on it, then we will revert to slavery and bondage again...our God will be our stomach and our idols will be of the old man: money, fame, success, works instead of faith, recognition, approval of others. What little spiritual effort we offer will be nothing more than mere religiosity. And we know from the Old Testament that God saw right through false sacrifices. He judges not actions, but heart motives. And he detests dishonest scales.
Oh Lord, how could I even begin to love you with Pharisaic love? Let it never be so!! You said yourself that if my faith does not surpass that of the Pharisees, I will not see the kingdom of heaven. How could I love you this way when your love towards me is a gut-wrenching love that actually cost something...the dearest and most precious thing to your heart?
The Lord reminded me the other day that loving him is easy and natural. Why? It's easy because he's already pursued me from day 1. And he's still doing it. It's natural because I was made for relationship with Him!! We love him because he first loved us.
Ya know that feeling when someone really loves you and they come out and say it? How you just light up and feel all warm inside? Sometimes you might even cry at the very expression of it! Even if someone says they like you and the feeling is not necessarily mutual, you are still as we say "flattered." And downplay it as we do with that word, deep down something in the way our heart was oriented towards that person changes in that moment. That person has taken their thought from a hidden love to an expressed love and we feel validated. We are moved by love!!
Can I just say that any human love PALES IN COMPARISON to the perfect love of Christ??
That is all. Happy reflecting and sweet dreams.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Fasting
Wow! Busy and fun weekend with a few college friends in town. Courtney stayed with me (my former BU roommate who now lives in D.C.). She was so excited to be in Waco amidst the Baylor spirit (1st home game and Parents Weekend at BU, so the green and gold was "flung afar" as our alma mater that no one knows the words to says!).
We went to the bookstore and I bought a shirt for the game, a long sleeve alumni shirt, and a decal that says "Baylor Alumni." Been meaning to get a decal for a while now. I'm actually really surprised that the Call Center has not hit me up for $$ yet. I don't feel I owe Baylor anything right now since I've got student loans to pay. I did have to pay $35 for a ticket. There, I contributed. The game was fun, had 2 groups of friends there and kind of flitted between them. We lost to UCONN. Boo.
So our Elevate readings right now are Leviticus and Numbers and a book called "God's Chosen Fast" by Arthur Wallis. I just read the first 49 pages of this book tonight. It's pretty basic so far, but hopefully I will learn some things about the physical and spiritual aspect of fasting.
There were many types of fasting in the Bible. The longest was Moses' 40 day fast when he was given the 10 Commandments, then he came down from the mountain for a day and saw the ppl were worshipping idols and went right back up to be with the Lord and fasted another 40 days. We are talking NO FOOD and NO WATER. Yikes, an absolute fast. All I can say is, God must have supernaturally equipped his body...I mean he WAS meeting face-to-face with the Lord Almighty. I love that scripture says the Lord spoke with Moses clearly and not in riddles. Sometimes after he was done meeting with God, Moses had to wear a veil over his face b/c he was too bright for the Israelites' eyes to behold!
Moses was a humble dude. In fact, he was "more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth." Wow, yet the Israelites wanted to stone him, choose another leader, and not listen to the words of the Lord even though they had every reason to fear God seeing how he didn't always hold back his wrath from them for their rejection of His authority.
One good thing Wallis has noted thus far is that there's a new generation arising that wants the apostolic power back in the church. His point was, "But how can we recover apostolic power while neglecting apostolic practice?" (in reference to the practice of fasting). Come on folks, fasting kind of seems like a way of antiquity to today's society, even today's church. Truthfully, it kind of scares me, especially the effects of long fasts.
Matthew 6 reflects Jesus' expectation that his followers would fast...he says WHEN you give alms, WHEN you pray, WHEN you fast.
Oh the Pharisees had it down in practice. But they flaunted it, and had false motives.
Of course, historically, there have been different reasons for fasting. Sometimes when a nation was in great turmoil, or other times in mourning, or other times to seek understanding about a vision or clarity about some pressing dilemma, etc.
Anyway, I hope to learn more about fasting b/c I'll be honest, I don't like it. I usually fast on Mondays and my work friends that I eat with know it, but they kinda think it's weird. Not that they chastise me about it, but they do have questions that I don't always have great answers to and it can quickly become an uncomfortable subject. Just wait until I have to explain my week long one! eeks. The most I've done so far was 3 days with just juice and water.
And as far as Leviticus and Numbers...well they are challenging as far as extracting a message that would appear to be relevant to my life...but I am hoping the Lord changes that. God says it's useful:
"And from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." (2 Tim 3:15-17)
Gotta have that down by tomorrow!! Ok goodnight for now. I need to finish up my reading and get to bed!
We went to the bookstore and I bought a shirt for the game, a long sleeve alumni shirt, and a decal that says "Baylor Alumni." Been meaning to get a decal for a while now. I'm actually really surprised that the Call Center has not hit me up for $$ yet. I don't feel I owe Baylor anything right now since I've got student loans to pay. I did have to pay $35 for a ticket. There, I contributed. The game was fun, had 2 groups of friends there and kind of flitted between them. We lost to UCONN. Boo.
So our Elevate readings right now are Leviticus and Numbers and a book called "God's Chosen Fast" by Arthur Wallis. I just read the first 49 pages of this book tonight. It's pretty basic so far, but hopefully I will learn some things about the physical and spiritual aspect of fasting.
There were many types of fasting in the Bible. The longest was Moses' 40 day fast when he was given the 10 Commandments, then he came down from the mountain for a day and saw the ppl were worshipping idols and went right back up to be with the Lord and fasted another 40 days. We are talking NO FOOD and NO WATER. Yikes, an absolute fast. All I can say is, God must have supernaturally equipped his body...I mean he WAS meeting face-to-face with the Lord Almighty. I love that scripture says the Lord spoke with Moses clearly and not in riddles. Sometimes after he was done meeting with God, Moses had to wear a veil over his face b/c he was too bright for the Israelites' eyes to behold!
Moses was a humble dude. In fact, he was "more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth." Wow, yet the Israelites wanted to stone him, choose another leader, and not listen to the words of the Lord even though they had every reason to fear God seeing how he didn't always hold back his wrath from them for their rejection of His authority.
One good thing Wallis has noted thus far is that there's a new generation arising that wants the apostolic power back in the church. His point was, "But how can we recover apostolic power while neglecting apostolic practice?" (in reference to the practice of fasting). Come on folks, fasting kind of seems like a way of antiquity to today's society, even today's church. Truthfully, it kind of scares me, especially the effects of long fasts.
Matthew 6 reflects Jesus' expectation that his followers would fast...he says WHEN you give alms, WHEN you pray, WHEN you fast.
Oh the Pharisees had it down in practice. But they flaunted it, and had false motives.
Of course, historically, there have been different reasons for fasting. Sometimes when a nation was in great turmoil, or other times in mourning, or other times to seek understanding about a vision or clarity about some pressing dilemma, etc.
Anyway, I hope to learn more about fasting b/c I'll be honest, I don't like it. I usually fast on Mondays and my work friends that I eat with know it, but they kinda think it's weird. Not that they chastise me about it, but they do have questions that I don't always have great answers to and it can quickly become an uncomfortable subject. Just wait until I have to explain my week long one! eeks. The most I've done so far was 3 days with just juice and water.
And as far as Leviticus and Numbers...well they are challenging as far as extracting a message that would appear to be relevant to my life...but I am hoping the Lord changes that. God says it's useful:
"And from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." (2 Tim 3:15-17)
Gotta have that down by tomorrow!! Ok goodnight for now. I need to finish up my reading and get to bed!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wired
I need to testify!
On Sunday, Liz and I decided after a Sonic Run, that before we got into reading for Elevate, we wanted to reach out to our neighbor who lives on our right in the "potato salad" house. On the other side we have "easter egg" neighbors who will soon get hit with the love of Jesus too!!
We went over and Joyce was there, with her granddaughter who I believe was in 4th or 5th grade. Joyce was open and inviting to us even with the details of her life and we quickly found out that she was bound by anxiety (is OCD, can't sleep well at night, is at unrest with neighborhood happenings and has a gun!), missed her twin brother who died this year, etc. We also found out that she is a believer and attends church and has her whole life. She does many service related things such as Meals on Wheels and visiting the Nursing Home where her brother stayed before he died.
But Joyce, like all Christians, needed a touch from the Lord. A fresh revelation of his Love and his rest and peace.
So we prayed for her and she shed a few sweet tears. We also talked to her granddaughter, Abriana, about Jesus. Liz shared her 90 second testimony (a technique we were taught in Elevate) and I got to walk through her through the life and sacrifice of Jesus. She said that she had never accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. I asked her if she wanted to do this. She timidly said yes. Joyce said, I think she understands and wants it even though she doesn't know what all it means right now. We asked her again and she said, a little louder this time, that she wanted to accept Jesus! So I prayed her through and she repeated after me, a salvation experience!!! Wow! I have not done that since once or twice when I was a counselor at Sky Ranch in 2004. Praise Jesus, because a simple act of kindness led to the crowning of another daughter of the King!
It was exciting to do that. To step out. I was glad Liz was there too, we were a good team.
In church we have been focusing on the verse:
"You have made known to me the path of life. In your presence, there is fullness of joy; In your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." -Psalm 16:11
We took brownies over and I wanted some sort of encouragement to go along with it, so I saw this notecard on my nightstand and decided to write that verse on a card. So before I wrote this on the inside, on the outside I was going to put our neighbor's name, but I have never known her name. But God gave me the word "Joy" and I almost wrote it on the front. Turns out her name was JOYCE and she was in need of JOY!!! I just thought that was neat.
It gives me hope that when we share the truth about God, people are changed. She seemed much more peaceful when we left and the cool thing is, Joyce and Abriana are coming to church with us on Sunday! :)
On Sunday, Liz and I decided after a Sonic Run, that before we got into reading for Elevate, we wanted to reach out to our neighbor who lives on our right in the "potato salad" house. On the other side we have "easter egg" neighbors who will soon get hit with the love of Jesus too!!
We went over and Joyce was there, with her granddaughter who I believe was in 4th or 5th grade. Joyce was open and inviting to us even with the details of her life and we quickly found out that she was bound by anxiety (is OCD, can't sleep well at night, is at unrest with neighborhood happenings and has a gun!), missed her twin brother who died this year, etc. We also found out that she is a believer and attends church and has her whole life. She does many service related things such as Meals on Wheels and visiting the Nursing Home where her brother stayed before he died.
But Joyce, like all Christians, needed a touch from the Lord. A fresh revelation of his Love and his rest and peace.
So we prayed for her and she shed a few sweet tears. We also talked to her granddaughter, Abriana, about Jesus. Liz shared her 90 second testimony (a technique we were taught in Elevate) and I got to walk through her through the life and sacrifice of Jesus. She said that she had never accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. I asked her if she wanted to do this. She timidly said yes. Joyce said, I think she understands and wants it even though she doesn't know what all it means right now. We asked her again and she said, a little louder this time, that she wanted to accept Jesus! So I prayed her through and she repeated after me, a salvation experience!!! Wow! I have not done that since once or twice when I was a counselor at Sky Ranch in 2004. Praise Jesus, because a simple act of kindness led to the crowning of another daughter of the King!
It was exciting to do that. To step out. I was glad Liz was there too, we were a good team.
In church we have been focusing on the verse:
"You have made known to me the path of life. In your presence, there is fullness of joy; In your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." -Psalm 16:11
We took brownies over and I wanted some sort of encouragement to go along with it, so I saw this notecard on my nightstand and decided to write that verse on a card. So before I wrote this on the inside, on the outside I was going to put our neighbor's name, but I have never known her name. But God gave me the word "Joy" and I almost wrote it on the front. Turns out her name was JOYCE and she was in need of JOY!!! I just thought that was neat.
It gives me hope that when we share the truth about God, people are changed. She seemed much more peaceful when we left and the cool thing is, Joyce and Abriana are coming to church with us on Sunday! :)
Quote
"The American Church looks more like the fast-food business than the Bride of Christ, and it's members are just as overweight as it's citizens." - Matt Papa
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Lovesick
Misty Edwards "LOVESICK"
I am lovesick, for my Beloved
My Beloved and my Friend
Only YOU can satisfy
Try as I may to chase another Lover,
I find there is, there is no other
For only YOU can satisfy
And happy am I, to live a hungry life
Blessed am I, to thirst
Disillusionment, it is my gift within
I am blessed, I am blessed among men!
To be lovesick, for my beloved
My beloved and my friend
Only YOU can satisfy
Try as I may to chase another Lover,
I find there is, there is no other
All the other Lovers fade away
Only YOU can satisfy
And happy am I, to live a hungry life
And blessed am I, to thirst
My desire for You, it is my gift within
I am blessed, I am blessed among men!
This is the generation that's tried everything
This is the generation of Jacob
This is the generation that's done all those things
Only YOU can satisfy ( x2)
This is the generation looking for the face of God
This is the generation of Jacob
This is the generation
Searching for the face of God
And only YOU can satisfy
The Spirit and the bride say, come!
We say come
I am lovesick, for my Beloved
My Beloved and my Friend
Only YOU can satisfy
Try as I may to chase another Lover,
I find there is, there is no other
For only YOU can satisfy
And happy am I, to live a hungry life
Blessed am I, to thirst
Disillusionment, it is my gift within
I am blessed, I am blessed among men!
To be lovesick, for my beloved
My beloved and my friend
Only YOU can satisfy
Try as I may to chase another Lover,
I find there is, there is no other
All the other Lovers fade away
Only YOU can satisfy
And happy am I, to live a hungry life
And blessed am I, to thirst
My desire for You, it is my gift within
I am blessed, I am blessed among men!
This is the generation that's tried everything
This is the generation of Jacob
This is the generation that's done all those things
Only YOU can satisfy ( x2)
This is the generation looking for the face of God
This is the generation of Jacob
This is the generation
Searching for the face of God
And only YOU can satisfy
The Spirit and the bride say, come!
We say come
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Extravagant
Weekend road trip to Alabama to Abby's family's lakehouse over Labor Day was sooo fun. Had a blast with Abby and Charis in the car and then with Marilyn and Abby's sister and other family once we got there. Good southern folks.
Got a little sunshine and water fix. Geez I love the water/sun combo. Got to go waterskiing which I have only done once and it was in 2004. I did pretty well too, I was proud! I still can't believe we drove through the night on Friday and landed at the cabin at 7 a.m.! At 5 a.m. we were getting backed into by an old woman in the rain at a gas station!! What the heck??! But all was good, no scratches luckily she was slow and cautious enough to not ram the car too hard.
We did end up chasing some crazy rabbit trails (unintentionally) looking for Starbucks and Chick-fil-a. Charis' TomTom was not the most helpful device as it often led us to stores that no longer exist. Anyways, I feel a lot closer to Abby and Charis and feel blessed just to have that quality time and be able to open up. They are both incredible!!! Great great friends.
Tonight, Carl Gulley came and spoke to our Elevate class. That man is a firecracker!! He's the kind of speaker that makes you wanna rethink everything you've ever thought about God and Christianity and take action! Lord let me not be just a hearer of the word, but a doer!
After he spoke, we were given time to ask God what he wants to change in us, or what risks he wants us to take in response to his extravagant love. I specifically heard the Lord say that he wants me to be obedient and consistent to tithing at least 10% of my income to the church...and the rest as directed for specific mission related things or as ppl have need and the Lord compels me to give. I have been fighting him on this one for a while...making up all kinds of excuses as to why I am not tithing or what the money is being used for, etc. I've tried to ignore the nagging sense that I need to be doing it and I have finally given in. Why? Because giving in to God is geting free!! By being obedient and giving my finances to God (they're not mine anyway), it allows me up to serve him and love him more wholeheartedly, and I also trust that he has a treasure waiting for me either on earth or for sure in heaven. I don't want to be stingy with the blessings he has given me. I want to give to those in need out of the wealth that I have. Ok...so I am not in the least bit wealthy, but hey in a 3rd world country I certainly would be! The hardest thing about tonight was that we were challenged to publicly announce to the class what God told us to do so that we would be accountable by getting it out in front of people. I went up first but getting there was so so so hard. I probably fought the urge to go up for like 5 minutes. And no one else had broken the seal of vulnerability. I felt glued to my chair. But finally, God gave me the grace to put one foot in front of the other and make my way to the mic. So I did it. I committed my finances to the Lord and told my peers that I would be tithing faithfully in response to what I heard Him say. Our simple steps in faith are so pleasing to our Father. He has so much in store for us if we just allow our mind's attention and our heart's affection to be on Him above any other person or material thing. I really think when we get in that place, because we are right with God, our viewpoint has shifted and we begin to carry burdens with more grace and are free in his presence to walk in the light without fear or comparison or condemnation or shame.
Jesus,
I check my rights at the cross.
I check my time at the cross.
I check my finances at the cross.
I am yours and you are mine.
Jesus, give me fresh revelation of what you look like. Erase my old picture of you (ha like an etch-a-sketch!) and re-illustrate it. Let me not stand before the cross and your sacrifice and be...emotionless. After all, you sure get excited when we are victorious! Show me the "Touchdown Jesus" who gets super excited and jumps with joy when I make steps of faith for you. Each day when I spend an hour with you in the morning, let me feel you rejoicing over me.
"An extravagant act of love towards us demands an extravagant response." (Carl Gulley)
Got a little sunshine and water fix. Geez I love the water/sun combo. Got to go waterskiing which I have only done once and it was in 2004. I did pretty well too, I was proud! I still can't believe we drove through the night on Friday and landed at the cabin at 7 a.m.! At 5 a.m. we were getting backed into by an old woman in the rain at a gas station!! What the heck??! But all was good, no scratches luckily she was slow and cautious enough to not ram the car too hard.
We did end up chasing some crazy rabbit trails (unintentionally) looking for Starbucks and Chick-fil-a. Charis' TomTom was not the most helpful device as it often led us to stores that no longer exist. Anyways, I feel a lot closer to Abby and Charis and feel blessed just to have that quality time and be able to open up. They are both incredible!!! Great great friends.
Tonight, Carl Gulley came and spoke to our Elevate class. That man is a firecracker!! He's the kind of speaker that makes you wanna rethink everything you've ever thought about God and Christianity and take action! Lord let me not be just a hearer of the word, but a doer!
After he spoke, we were given time to ask God what he wants to change in us, or what risks he wants us to take in response to his extravagant love. I specifically heard the Lord say that he wants me to be obedient and consistent to tithing at least 10% of my income to the church...and the rest as directed for specific mission related things or as ppl have need and the Lord compels me to give. I have been fighting him on this one for a while...making up all kinds of excuses as to why I am not tithing or what the money is being used for, etc. I've tried to ignore the nagging sense that I need to be doing it and I have finally given in. Why? Because giving in to God is geting free!! By being obedient and giving my finances to God (they're not mine anyway), it allows me up to serve him and love him more wholeheartedly, and I also trust that he has a treasure waiting for me either on earth or for sure in heaven. I don't want to be stingy with the blessings he has given me. I want to give to those in need out of the wealth that I have. Ok...so I am not in the least bit wealthy, but hey in a 3rd world country I certainly would be! The hardest thing about tonight was that we were challenged to publicly announce to the class what God told us to do so that we would be accountable by getting it out in front of people. I went up first but getting there was so so so hard. I probably fought the urge to go up for like 5 minutes. And no one else had broken the seal of vulnerability. I felt glued to my chair. But finally, God gave me the grace to put one foot in front of the other and make my way to the mic. So I did it. I committed my finances to the Lord and told my peers that I would be tithing faithfully in response to what I heard Him say. Our simple steps in faith are so pleasing to our Father. He has so much in store for us if we just allow our mind's attention and our heart's affection to be on Him above any other person or material thing. I really think when we get in that place, because we are right with God, our viewpoint has shifted and we begin to carry burdens with more grace and are free in his presence to walk in the light without fear or comparison or condemnation or shame.
Jesus,
I check my rights at the cross.
I check my time at the cross.
I check my finances at the cross.
I am yours and you are mine.
Jesus, give me fresh revelation of what you look like. Erase my old picture of you (ha like an etch-a-sketch!) and re-illustrate it. Let me not stand before the cross and your sacrifice and be...emotionless. After all, you sure get excited when we are victorious! Show me the "Touchdown Jesus" who gets super excited and jumps with joy when I make steps of faith for you. Each day when I spend an hour with you in the morning, let me feel you rejoicing over me.
"An extravagant act of love towards us demands an extravagant response." (Carl Gulley)
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Lies be gone!
Wow. Lifegroup was amazing tonight! So much joy in the presence of the Lord! We got free from lies by calling them out and laughing out loud at them. It was hard, but really a great practice. I'm hoping I learn to recognize and laugh at them more quickly instead of being oppressed by them and letting Satan have a foothold.
A few of them we came up with were: I am ugly, I am fat, I won't ever be married, I am not smart, I don't hear the Lord's voice, people don't love me, they just tolerate me...I will always be on the outside, I am not spiritually mature like (insert name of person).
Obviously those thoughts are far from the thoughts God has about us!! And they do sound more ridiculous when you say them out to other people who know they are not true and who can confirm that they are lies. When we believe these statements about ourselves, it's like a weed and it spreads and chokes out all the good and new growth that the Lord is trying to do in us.
One word that a friend shared with us is that we need to have "lane integrity." Meaning, as in a race, it is not beneficial to look to the right or left at the other runners, because then we start veering and losing our focus. So when we put people on pedestals for being godly, or being intellectual or talented, what we are really saying is that we wish we were in their lane. When clearly God wants us to run at our own pace in our own lane, as marked by him.
A few of them we came up with were: I am ugly, I am fat, I won't ever be married, I am not smart, I don't hear the Lord's voice, people don't love me, they just tolerate me...I will always be on the outside, I am not spiritually mature like (insert name of person).
Obviously those thoughts are far from the thoughts God has about us!! And they do sound more ridiculous when you say them out to other people who know they are not true and who can confirm that they are lies. When we believe these statements about ourselves, it's like a weed and it spreads and chokes out all the good and new growth that the Lord is trying to do in us.
One word that a friend shared with us is that we need to have "lane integrity." Meaning, as in a race, it is not beneficial to look to the right or left at the other runners, because then we start veering and losing our focus. So when we put people on pedestals for being godly, or being intellectual or talented, what we are really saying is that we wish we were in their lane. When clearly God wants us to run at our own pace in our own lane, as marked by him.
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